Supposed Actual Newspaper Headlines
Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?
Stud Tires Out
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
Eye Drops Off Shelf
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Miners Refuse to Work After Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Drunken Drivers Paid $1,000 in '84
War Dims Hopes for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Hospitals Are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Ban on Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
Air Head Fired
Steals Clock, Faces Time
Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
Old School Pillars Are Replaced by Alumni
Bank Drive-In Window Blocked by Board
Deer Kill 17,000
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetary; Hundreds Dead
From Church Newsletters
Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north
ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies
giving milk will please come early.
Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will
sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers
Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the
minister in his private study.
This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward
and lay an egg on the altar.
Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of
the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet
will come forward and get a piece of paper.
The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they
may be seen in the church basement Friday.
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is
Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
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